I've been wondering about a thing lately.. After being stupid enough to comment on a youtube video, for the first time, I got all these mean responses back. Like REALLY mean.. And i didn't offend anyone, I didn't write anything mean, I wasn't even rude.. It was just a simple little comment, a happy one..
And that sure as hell will be the very last time I comment on a youtube video, ever..

But that got me wondering, why are people so mean? I can be a total bitch sometimes, but mostly the other person had it coming.. I just don't get how people can write something like that without thinking about what that might do to the other person. It sure as hell made my week miserable! I know I'm not suppose to let some asshole on the internet ruin my day, but when I'm having a hard enough time already, then I just can't control my emotions enough to let it pass by me. And that wasn't just a single asshole, it was several, but I deleted the messages without even looking at them.. I was scared to go on my youtube account because of what I might see there!

What bothers me even more than that is that it is socially accepted! Even the people I used to call my friends have been bitching about me on the internet lately (without really writing my name, but come on! I'm not that stupid!). And the thing about that, is that I have no clue what I did this time.. Seriously, I staid away, kept my distance, tried to make other friends, real friends who was interested in hanging out with me and not a person that have to hide all their emotions and thoughts to be accepted.. And I wasn't even accepted then, not when I stayed away, when I felt the hatred towards me (and believe me, that is the second WORST feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, number one was loosing my brother..), not when I was nicer than I've ever been in my life, not when I did everything to be (not forgiven), but treated as an equal in a way.. Not even when I just stood there while my friend was meaner to me than I've ever seen a person be in my entire life. I have never felt worse about my self, and I felt like I was treated like a slave and not a friend, just like someone who could be tossed and bossed around all the time. I haven't said a word these past couple of months. I've just focused on someone else, but after time goes by stuff catches up with you, and that is what has happened to me now. When I come to think of it, that one person has made my cry soooooo many times, and hurt me even more than any other person has.. I was willing to forgive it. But I see now, that this person is no longer ANYTHING like the person I became friends with.. And I am still willing to forgive, even after all this, but the person I'm willing to forgive is not the same person as I see today, it is my old friend I'm willing to forgive..

I really don't want any more drama in my life, but I just can't let my self be treated like that ever again..
I guess that is why I'll never comment on a youtube video again either. Because instead of answering that asshole, I choose to delete the message and move on in life, with that lesson learned I ask you all to think, not only before you act, but before you write something. Even if it is about or to a friend, or someone random on the internet. Because you never know how that person will handle it, or if they can even handle it..